Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Solemn Rights and Silly Rites

Extending the right of legal marriage to include homosexual couples is, we are instructed by enlightened liberal elites, not only a necessary correction to a long-standing injustice, but the very hallmark of sound social policy.  Seriousness begets seriousness, they argue, and a more formal union can only encourage more responsible behavior.  Win - win.

Availing himself of the new right, retiring Massachusetts's Congressman and "Cwown Pwince of Wibewawism" Bawney Fwank finally made an honest man of long-time partner Jim Ready. (Or was it the other way around?)  In a ceremony worthy of a Saturday Night Live skit, but nevertheless attended by several liberal luminaries to include former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and even presided over by the Bay State Governor himself, Deval Patrick, the happy couple exchanged these example-setting vows:

"Beloved family and friends: We have come together to witness and bless the
joining together of BARNEY and JIM in marriage.

As you might imagine, at the request of the Congressman, this service will
be short and to the point. But there are certain formalities that even a
senior member of Congress must observe. The first is this question.
I ask you both that, if either of you know any reason why you may not be
united in marriage lawfully, you do now confess it.

The Declaration of Consent

Barney and Jim: Do you promise to love each other and be each other's best
In sickness and in health,
In Congress or in retirement,
Whether the surf is up or the surf's flat,
For richer or for poorer,
Under the Democrats or the Republicans,
Whether the slopes are powdery or icy,
Whether the book reviews are good or bad,
For better or for worse,
On MSNBC or on Fox,
For as long as you both shall live?

Barney and Jim: We do."

*Thanks Blue State Patriot

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